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Bernie Ecclestone furious about missing lunchbox

For the second consecutive year, bomb disposal experts have had to deal with a mysterious item at the Monaco Grand Prix, this year it being a plastic box whereas last year it was a carrier bag.

In related news, and also for the second consecutive year, Bernie Ecclestone has lost a personal belonging on the circuit after misplacing his lunchbox. Last year he did the same with a gift in a plastic bag he had bought for his wife.

Security expert Jean-Francois told us, “Last year alarms were raised over a suspect bag until an elderly gentleman came along and grumbled ‘Get your mits off that!’

“Today we had to carry out a controlled explosion on a small plastic item which could have been dangerous.

“We feared there were tuna or egg sandwiches in there.”

Elsewhere, a steaming Ecclestone fumed, “I couldn’t get there in time whereas last year I just about managed.

Could explode at any moment

“I must be losing race pace quicker than a Ferrari.

“I remember last year the security team told me I had to be more careful and not leave stuff lying around – as if I don’t own the place!

“So I told them they were all fired.”

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