Home > Football > Fergie’s squeaky bum develops into nasty rash

Fergie’s squeaky bum develops into nasty rash

Sources within Old Trafford have become alarmed at the deterioration in SAF’s squeaky bum condition after it has turned into a nasty itchy rash following a very sweaty end to the season. The Glazers are being kept informed but are known not to be keen on ‘scratching’ the itch which will take vast wads of the cash they have earmarked for their own personal use.
Experts in this particularly football related condition explained that only plying huge amounts of cash to the affected area in time for next season will eradicate the problem.  It’s no use staying with quack remedies such as Park, Carrick, Jones and such old ones as Giggs and Scholes they say. The only way is to pay out at least £100m to secure the salve developed by their great rivals, Man City.
But the Glazers have let it be known that only well tested and tried remedies such as buying third rate youngsters as an investment for the future will work and keep them in the lifestyle they have ‘learned’. So unless he retires SAF can only expect the condition to get worse for the foreseeable future.

And if City are able to continue to spending, it remains unlikely that the situation could ever be salved.

If a cure does become available, it will be too late for Kenny Dalglish.

“What’s that noise?”

  1. May 16, 2012 at 20:22

    Coincidence that Sir Red Nose develops a rash on his bum? Hardly

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