Home > London 2012 > Plans for “Attack the Block” sequel scuppered by Olympic surface-to-air missiles

Plans for “Attack the Block” sequel scuppered by Olympic surface-to-air missiles

Proposals shot down

Production of “Attack the Block 2” has been put on hold after news of the possible installation of surface-to-air missiles in residential areas in London.

Not only will the missiles protect the area from terrorist attacks during the games, but they will also stop alien creatures descending from outer space like in the first movie.

The presence of soldiers to guard the missiles would also eliminate the need for the local hoodlums-turned-heroes to fight for the area.

Producers StudioCanal confirmed, “We’ve had to postpone the next movie due to concerns the plotline could get shot down faster than Jeremy Hunt’s political career.

“We feel the premise that aliens would invade such estates in London is becoming too fanciful.”

Local residents have received the news with concern and surprise on learning that anyone could show the slightest interest in attacking or protecting areas such as theirs.

A homeowner from Tower Hamlets said, “At first I thought it was a hoax. I mean seriously, who cares?

“I saw soldiers carrying a crate into the block of flats opposite. I thought they were finally going to demolish it.

“I even pointed them in the direction of an abandoned Ford Mondeo down the street that they could missiles on top of and then drive around.

“Seemed better to me than using a water tower.”

  1. May 1, 2012 at 09:37

    I used to live near Fred Wigg tower in east London many years ago – those missiles will be melted down for scrap brofre you can say suicide bomber!

    • May 1, 2012 at 11:58

      If they could argue it should be an Olympic sport then we’d all be going for gold.

      • May 1, 2012 at 14:19

        I’ve written to Seb with the suggestion – perhaps get the local pawn shop to sponsor it too.

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