Home > Football > Research scientists postulate Carroll initiated Liverpool decline 20 years before signing

Research scientists postulate Carroll initiated Liverpool decline 20 years before signing

Scientists on Merseyside investigating a disturbance in the space-time continuum believe it might be caused by the apocalyptic effect of Andy Carroll on Liverpool Football Club.

The detected anomaly, coupled with the appalling performance of the striker at his old side Newcastle, means that his arrival has had such a negative impact on the Reds that it may have begun influencing the club decades ago, being the catalyst for their decline from the top of the English game.

Professor Derek Rogers cautioned, “Everyone knows that Liverpool went downhill after 1990, which is around the time that Andy Carroll was born.

It's all relatively awful

“Our instruments indicate that his presence in the universe could well have begun the work of undoing the domination they enjoyed years before he actually came to finish the job.

“This is obviously an unusual theory and there will be many doubters, but watching the match today against Newcastle will probably tell you everything you need to know.”

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