Home > Football > Abu Qatada sentenced to serve as Chelsea manager

Abu Qatada sentenced to serve as Chelsea manager

Theresa May and the British government have found a solution to punish Abu Qatada severely whilst he remains in the UK before being deported to Jordan – make him manager of Chelsea.

Following the sacking of Andre Villas-Boas yesterday, the media and those in football have been comparing the manager’s role at Stamford Bridge to hell itself, which could be enough to fulfil the anger of those furious at seeing the radical cleric free within the country.

He's certainly not Portuguese

Home Secretary May confirmed, “We’re considering locking Qatada up at the Bridge for as long as Abramovich will take to fire him – which will probably be one or two weeks.

“He’ll be suffering like he never imagined, on a salary of millions to try to get Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba et al. just to look interested.

“After a few days of that nightmare we think he’ll be begging for us to send him to Jordan to be tortured and executed.

“I’m sure AVB wishes he was there now.”

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  1. March 7, 2012 at 07:52

    Haha brilliant.

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