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Brazilian Grand Prix report

November 27, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Endure the boredom of the final ‘race’ of the season once more with our lap-by-lap review of this afternoon’s Brazilian Grand Prix, perfect for when you are struggling to get to sleep due to the overwhelming horror of having to face the start of yet another working week.

Martin Brundle’s “grid walk”: Frustration for all BBC viewers as the camera continuously skates past attractive young women holding umbrellas for no reason to focus on an interview with a bearded man in an overcoat.

Lap 1: There is a surge in the National Grid when 90% of viewers switch off in disappointment at the lack of carnage at the first corner.

Lap 2: Sebastian Vettel already has an unassailable lead, aided by Lewis Hamilton repeatedly cutting up his closest rivals.

Lap 13: Pitying Mark Webber, Red Bull announce a “gearbox failure” on Vettel’s car means that the Australian can take the lead and cruise to the end for once instead of his teammate.

Lap 20: The race becomes a procession just like every other, except the other Red Bull is leading.

Lap 48: The final few viewers nod off as Lewis Hamilton retires dully, without so much as a dislodged front-wing.

Laps 49-51: David Coulthard spends three laps eulogising about the benefits of ‘option’ tyres…

Lap 55: Oh who cares!

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