Home > Football > AVB “expects to qualify for the JSA”

AVB “expects to qualify for the JSA”

November 24, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Soon to be ex-Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas has confidently told reporters he expects to make it through to the final stages of the application process for the Jobseekers’ Allowance unemployment benefit.

The Portuguese has seen his team slip into a horrible run of form recently, compounded by late losses to both Liverpool and Bayer Leverkusen in the last week, and believes that this shocking streak should guarantee him the regular payout from his local council.

Searching for benefits

He explained, “It’s in my hands to qualify. I’ll be at home and as long as I organise my papers properly I should do my job well enough.

“Besides, I won’t have Terry, Lampard and Drogba getting in the way of all my careful planning and tactics.

“And I definitely won’t have to worry about Glen Johnson or some German bloke popping up near the end to steal the rewards of my hard work.

“The team just needs the right result against Valencia to get us knocked out of the Champions League and the JSA will be as good as mine.”

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