Home > Rugby > Martin Johnson decides to spend more time down the pub

Martin Johnson decides to spend more time down the pub

November 16, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Martin Johnson has resigned from his position of manager of England’s rugby team so that he can devote more time to his binge-drinking and other laddish activities.

It is suspected his hand was forced by the RFU fining and axing his wing-man Mike Tindall from the squad.

“I’ve immensely enjoyed my time as manager of England but I felt it was getting in the way of my priorities,” Johnson explained.

“I should say that I’ve enjoyed the bits I actually remember – apart from those involving rugby.

“I can almost certainly say I’ve enjoyed those bits I don’t remember even more.”

Johnson’s happy hour

Johnson came under severe criticism from his peers and mates after the media reported evidence of some professional behaviour during England’s World Cup campaign, tainting his image as a hard-drinking rugby man.

“Obviously mistakes were made during the World Cup by myself, Mike Tindall and others,” Johnson admitted.

“We tried at times to focus on the rugby but we regret that now and we realise how foolish it was.

“I have therefore made the difficult decision to resign in order to be able to devote more time to what really matters, like dwarf-throwing and jumping off ferries.”

  1. November 16, 2011 at 20:18

    I quite liked that one!

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