Home > Football > Match report: England vs Spain

Match report: England vs Spain

November 12, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Relive the (lack of) highlights from tonight’s game at Wembley where Spain took the meaning of ‘friendly’ matches to a whole new level by graciously succumbing to their labouring hosts.

Pre-match: Relief is abundant on the faces of the Spanish starting eleven when they see that John Terry in not selected and they therefore do not have to shake hands with him.

Minute 13: Frustration grows amongst the visitors when David Silva repeatedly gives the ball away, shocked upon realising Glen Johnson is defending well.

Minute 29: Sergio Ramos decides he might as well gives himself a rest till half-time and walks over to sit on the bench after not seeing any evidence of James Milner for the first half-hour.

Min 35: Play is halted as Sergio Busquets writhes on the ground. It is suspected that he has a (real or fake) injury but he is in fact laughing hysterically at an attempted through-ball by Phil Jones.

Minute 43: The linesman continues his excellent defensive display for England by imagining Silva is offside again.

Half-time: Cameras focus on Wayne Rooney in the stands looking very anxious and concerned. It is later established he is trying to add up the number of goals scored by each team without looking at the big scoreboard.

Minute 49: A mixture of amusement and horror spreads around Wembley as Frank Lampard steals Darren Bent’s goal on the line to put England ahead.

Minute 61: Bent is put clean through but blazes over. Claims he was put off by Gerard Pique singing Shakira songs in his ear.

Minute 75: Andres Iniesta yawns widely after running ten consecutive rings around Gareth Barry.

Minute 86: British humour creates confusion for Spain when Scott Parker is announced as man of the match.

Full-time: Stuart Pearce nudges Fabio Capello so that he realises the match is over. He had been snoozing since Theo Walcott’s first aimless run in the first-half.

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  1. November 12, 2011 at 21:15

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  1. November 13, 2011 at 09:31
  2. November 13, 2011 at 10:40
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