Home > London 2012, More Sports, Other Sports > Sporting World Aghast At Russian Gas Bike Plans

Sporting World Aghast At Russian Gas Bike Plans

October 28, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Russia have shocked and alarmed the sporting community with the unveiling of their new gas-powered cycles.

Heiko Salzwedel was made track cycling coach after the Beijing Olympic Games, and his bold new plans will surely give his charges that extra on-track power necessary to win copious medals at next year’s 2012 London Olympics.

When asked how the vehicles would work, Salzwedel said, “It’s quite simple really. We attached big gas tanks to the back of the bike, and we arranged the pipes in a certain way so that only a huge impact would ever cause the bike to catch fire.”

On hearing the news that applications for Olympic participation among Russian cyclists had dramatically dipped, the new coach said, “Russia has no room in the squad for yellow-bellies. These new machines give us a certain haul of medals next year, and if they aren’t interested in bettering themselves then that is their perogative.”

London Mayor Boris Johnson is said to welcome the plans, and a London 2012 source claimed, “Boris is very excited. He is not worried by the extra pollution or unfair advantage these bikes will bring – as long as Russia let him have a go on them.”

By Gerry

  1. October 30, 2011 at 15:12

    sportne stave
    Very cool article, cheers.

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